I guess you could say I am angry at G-d right now. We have been trying to become pregnant for several years since our oldest was born. Our prayers were finally answered. Well sort of. I am pregnant, but the doctors say my baby has a rare condition with very little chance to survive to term, and even less chance of surviving after birth for more than a few days. I just don’t get it. Why would G-d do that to me?
Here’s what I wrote in response:
I have no answers for you. Your pain is real, and your anger understandable. I can’t give you an explanation. All I can offer is friendship and support. And I’ll tell you a story.
There was a soul in heaven waiting to come down to this earth. Unlike other souls, who need to battle through life in a body for decades, this soul’s mission would be brief. She would only be on earth for a short time. Then she’d be free to fly back to her heavenly home.
The appointed day was approaching for this precious soul to descend to the world. In heaven the big question was asked: Which family will be chosen to host this holy soul?
It couldn’t be just any family. They need to be able to provide this soul with the love and warmth she deserves. Their resilience will be tested to the extreme. They will experience grief, but they will be touched by a piece of heaven.
Such a soul can only be sent down to parents with big hearts, with an extra capacity to love unconditionally, and ask for nothing in return.
The family would need to have unshakable faith, and the quiet humility to accept that we can’t always understand why. Because up in heaven the reasons are known, but down here on earth we have no clue.
The mother will have to find awesome inner strength, and almost super-human selfless devotion, to carry and care for a baby each day without knowing what tomorrow will bring.
Only G-d knows who is up to this task. And it’s you. You were chosen to be that mother. Your family is the warm and loving haven for this delicate soul.
Dig deep within your crying heart, and open a chamber of limitless love for the beautiful soul that was entrusted to you. Create a space of happiness and warmth for her. Cherish whatever time you have together. It may be brief. But the love will be forever.
We have to live with unanswerable questions. There is so much we don’t know. But what we do know is that this soul has found the right home.
Mendel (Menachem) Bluming and Rabbi Moss